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You can pry my headphone jack from my cold dead hands

You can pry my headphone jack from my cold deadhands

Please pair with my headphones oh godplease

Heres the thing: Bluetooth is shit. I dont care what you say, everyones had a bad experience at least once.

You might have forgotten the Bluetooth Struggle now, but trust me, Bluetooth is the worstits always sucked, and technical people (like me) forget that its actual hell to figure out for everyone else.

Heres what its like to buy a pair of Bluetooth headphones:

Heres what its like to use any wired headphones that ever existed:

The iPhone 7 is rumored to drop the headphone jack in favor of lightning headphones, which is a great way for Apple to upsell you to either a fancy proprietary pair of beats, or Bluetooth headphones.

For everyone else, you better get used to something like this being in your pocket 24x7:

Forget this and no tunes foryou

Come September 7, when its announced, the internet will explode in a fit of rage and then probably just buy the iPhone 7 anyway. Were all consumers, and we love new stuff.

Im not ready to let go yet. Sure, we live in the connected future where I can Airplay, Chromecast, Sonos or whatever-verb-you-want-to-use my music to everywhere in my home, but the awesome thing about the 3.5mm jack? It fucking just works, every single timeand its a ubiquitous standard.

No settings, no apps, just music. It works in the car, it works on an airplane, it works for my speakers. You can come over to my house and plug in and play music anytime you want without doing pairing, logging in, downloading or really doing anything at all.

The name of endless progress is fewer ports, jacks and other complicated places to plug things into and Apple loves to be the one to loudly do this kind of thing.

oh god

Fuck the 3.5mm jack, Apple will declare. The zealots will gladly agreeBluetooth is the best! How could we have used cables before? Its not so hard to charge your headphones, along with your Apple Watch and your iPhone! This is amazing! I love not plugging things in!

And thats OK. The future is indeed inevitable. Maybe Bluetooth will get better (Bluetooth 5.0 looks good but its nowhere near done yet!). Maybe itll be amazing when that happens. Maybe lightning headphones are awesome! Thats fine too. I just want my stupid 3.5mm jack too.

Im assuming, come September 7, Apple will announce a fix for many of Bluetooths problems, probably using a combination of NFC to pair automagically with your phone, which is a good step forward, but it still doesnt justify the reason for removing the jack, other than as a way to push the companys own proprietary accessories.

Im just realizing that maybe all progress isnt necessary, and that my iPhone 6s will last for plenty more years and that I love my shitty Apple headphones that just plug in to anything.

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